His Savior
by Xx-Sam-Evans-xX
Summary: Izaya was broken and Shizuo hadn't noticed it. Not until it was almost too late. Not until he was broken and almost gone from his grasp. Though is he able to save the male and keep him in his warm embrace? Shizaya,Shizuo/Izaya (Rated M for later chapters)
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This is for my Bestfriend, whom I love very much, Enjoy it please. This may be triggering. So read the warning, others who are not triggered easily please continue on.**_

_**Warnings! This will have blood, self harm, and maybe some implied physical/emotional abuse. Thank you for reading this.**_

Izaya seemed just like his normal self,annoying, smartass, and cocky. Shizuo didn't see through that facade, and see that he was really broken. He didn't see the tears on his cheeks or the blood dripping from his wrists. Not until that day...that day he found him almost gone from his grasp…

He hadn't been annoyed by Izaya for a few day, it bugged him oddly enough. Shizuo got kind of worried about the Flea do he decided to check up on him. He got the address from Shinra. Why was he so worried? That's what bugged him the most.  
His thick golden hair swished along the back of his neck as he walked. He looked down at the address on his phone and looked at the house- apartment building. Quietly he walked in the lobby and began to climb the steps to the top floor. Shizuo found Izaya's apartment easily. He knocked quietly and waited for an answer. When he didn't answer the blond tried the door knob, it was unlocked.  
Slowly he opened the door to the apartment. He walked in and closed the door after himself. His eyes wandered about the apartment. It was bathed in soft yellow light from the lamp next to the couch. He took another step into the apartment and the smell of iron hit his nose. He instantly knew what the smell came from… blood.  
Alarms went off in his mind. 'Why would his apartment smell like blood?!' he thought with a worried frown. He quickly followed the smell to a door just down the hallway. Quietly he opened it and his eyes widened at what he saw. Izaya lay on the ground with a razor in his hand and his wrists bleeding. He could tell from his even yet struggled breaths he was out cold.  
The male hurriedly kneeled next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Flea...Wake up," he said with worry evident in his tone. Izaya groaned gently, obviously in pain and he wasn't going to wake up soon. Shizuo quickly took the razor, threw it out, and found a few towels and a first aid kit in the closet. The blond held the towels over the deep cuts to stop the bleeding. He quietly sat there waiting for the bleeding to stop.  
When it stopped bleeding he quickly and gently put some ointment over the deep cuts. He then carefully but tightly wrapped his arms and sighed gently. "Flea…" he whispered quietly, still worried tremendously. The ex bartender gently picked him up bridal style and softly sighed once more. Then he walked into the bedroom and laid the fragile looking male on the bed. "You've been this broken for a long time and I haven't seen it ever…" he said regretfully to the out cold male on the bed.  
Izaya had wanted to disappear, that's the reason for the deep cuts on his wrists. Though he wasn't expecting a certain blond to be his savior. He knew it was him even though he hadn't seen him. It was his warm but rough voice. Everything after him being found was a hazy blur in his mind. His mind sank deeper into sleep as he was laid on the bed.  
He woke up after a while to Shizuo's voice. "I feel horrible for not noticing Flea, sorry," he whispered to the now awake raven. Though he didn't know he was awake. "I said those horrible things to you and then see you like that. I feel like it's my fault and I'm so sorry," he muttered regretfully. "I forgive you," the awakened male whispered in a small voice, startling the blond.  
"You're awake!" he whispered, relieved. "Are you okay? Want anything to eat or drink?" he asked him, obviously relieved but still worried. "No, I'm okay," the small male said as he turned on his side to stare at the blond. He saw the redness in his eyes, he had been so worried he cried a bit. "You were crying," the male said, reaching a weak arm up to place it on his cheek.  
"I don't want you to cry. I wanted to die, but I didn't know I'd hurt you if I did," he muttered, gently rubbing the redness away from under his eye. He moved his weak body closer and wrapped his arms around his neck. "I wanted to say this before I left but didn't have the chance so I'll take it now before I decide to try again," he whispered, swallowing thickly. "I love you Shizuo," he whispered in his ear, tears bubbling in his eyes. Shizuo's eyes widened at the words and wrapped his arms hesitantly around him back.  
"You...love me?" he whispered, thinking this was a dream. He had loved the raven so much that it made him angry to not be able to tell him (Part of the reason he got made at Izaya usually). He held him tightly but gently. "I-I love you too Izaya, I have for a long time," he whispered gently, closing his eyes happily. Izaya was now surprised, he didn't know he was loved back.  
"You love me back?!" he asked, tears slipping down his cheeks. "Yes," he whispered and pulled back to look in his eyes. "I love Izaya Orihara," he whispered and leaned in, taking his lips in a warm kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Dear readers, this chapter will be very VERY triggering so please, please do not read on if triggered easily. Thank you. I will not put specific warnings as to not spoil the story… Thank you. Please Read on~  
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Izaya was scared, weak, and broken. His emotions swirling and fighting in his mind. His love for Shizuo, was it just something to keep him close? What was is exactly? He was scared, what if the blond had been lying.  
_  
He lied to you…_

That's the thing that spun through his mind as he kept thinking about what he said. Shizuo had gone out earlier to go get some food, leaving the raven helpless in his own bed. He couldn't stop thinking about what he said and thinking he lied. It scared him majorly. the voice in his head, he knew not what it was , but that it was who he was inside.  
A broken, scared, and manipulative man. He was the monster, not the strong Shizuo Hewajima. It was him, Izaya Orihara, or that's just what he believed. His body moved by itself, pulling his heavy body from the sweety comfort of the bed. He saw everything, but registered nothing.  
Not pulling on clean clothes, putting his knife in his pocket, pulling his jacket on, or pulling on his jacket. He didn't register himself pulling on his shoes and opening the door, which to his weak body felt like lead to open. Izaya was gone, his eyes dull and blank, they weren't _him_ anymore. They were empty, swirling with the voice inside his head. His body felt lifeless and like he couldn't move it but he could see himself going to the roof of his building.  
His mind came back to him as he stood on the edge of the building, staring down at the empty streets below. He got scared but couldn't move his feet, the voice tempted him to stay. _It's fine, one more step and this pain and lies will end.. they'll all end._ He felt his feet shifting to the edge and his arms lifting up just slightly. That's when he heard it, the voice of his savior.  
It felt too late, he had been on the edge, he could just shift and fall. He turned his body, eyes wide with horror to see the blond male running to him. "It's too late," he muttered as he shifted his body slipping off the roof. "No!" Shizuo called out, jumping over to him and grabbing his arm in his iron hard grip. Izaya felt like he was falling, but was he?


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: My Girlfriend kept nagging at me to do another chapter so here ya go, don't hate me for this. It's a happy chapter (Hopefully). This also will be a bit triggering (Like last chapter) So read at your own risk.  
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Izaya wasn't falling, no, they weren't even going to fall. Shizuo had grabbed onto the railing and pulled the raven into his arms tightly. "Shizuo…" he whispered, his voice was soft and empty. His eyes had opened wide and there were tears on the brim of his eyes,threatening to fall. Shizuo stared down at him with angry yet soft eyes.  
"Izaya," he whispered gently, obviously upset but worried. "I-I'm sorry," he gasped out instantly, feeling horrible for making the blond make a face like that. It was so hurt yet so upset, it made his heart burn for him. "It's-It's fine… Just tell me, why,why do you always try to leave when I get close?" He asked, looking on the edge of tears himself. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he apologized, tears slipping out of his eyes and he burst into tears.  
He wasn't the same annoying and cocky Izaya that Shizuo originally knew. He was a small, frail, and broken male known as the real Izaya Orihara. "It's fine, It's fine flea, stop apologizing," he muttered as he pulled their bodies up onto the roof and collapsed into a small ball with Izaya wrapped in his arms protectively. "Don't, Don't, please don't leave me Izaya," he asked him softly and stared into his crimson eyes that were returning to their shiny original crimson color. "Look at me," he said and lifted the crying raven's head to make him look straight at him.  
"You're making me prove this to you, but I love you, I will show you how much Izaya," he muttered and pulled their lips into a deep kiss. He parted their lips and lifted up the raven and stood up. Izaya wrapped his legs around his waist and arms around his neck, holding onto him so desperately that you'd think he'd break if he let go and touched the ground. Shizuo hurried downstairs to the informants room, wanting to show him quickly how much he loved him. He plopped him on the bed and hovered over him and said, "This might hurt but I can't wait for you longer than this," he muttered with a soft sigh and a lustful but loving glint in his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: This chapter will be very smutty and Maybe long. So yeah. BoyXBoy. Don't like? Don't read. Thank you. Read on~  
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Izaya's eyes widened at his words. "Shizu-chan… W-What do you mean?" he said, swallowing thickly. Shizuo's eyes stared down at him softly. "I mean I need you," he said, his thick golden locks framing his face. "I'm taking you Izaya, I can't wait for you any longer," he said, almost roughly but still gently.  
Izaya's face flushed a deep shade of red and he stared at him. "Y-You're gonna-" He was cut off by Shizuo taking his lips in a deep kiss. He tried to fight him by pushing on his chest but couldn't move him. Slowly his body relaxed, letting him do whatever he pleased. The blond's tongue slipped out, pushing between his lips and to his mouth.  
The ex bartender explored his mouth, tasting everything and making it familiar to his tongue. He slipped a hand up Izaya's shirt, rubbing his side gently, trying to trace every curve and mark on his body. He kept kissing him heatedly, his other hand holding his body up. Shizuo's hand slid up his shirt and parted their lips to slip it off and went back to kissing him deeply. He ran his hand along his side and let his knees rest on the bed to hold himself up to explore his body with both hands.  
Shizuo parted their lips, kissing his cheek and traveling down his jaw to his neck. He began to lick and suck at the tender skin. He slid his hands to his chest and began teasing his nipples. Izaya gasped out at the action, blushing furiously."Shizuo-ooohhhh,"  
he gasped out as he began to suck on a soft spot on his neck.  
The male smirked deviously and began to suck roughly there and lick it gently, making a large red mark. Izaya was writhing under him, feeling his pants get tight with pleasure and his body shiver with sweetness. "Shizuo~" he gasped out once more as he trailed down his body with kisses. The blond's own pants getting tight at the sight of the raven. He slipped out of his vest and button up shirt, exposing his pale yet muscular body.  
Izaya reached up, running his hand down the front of his body gently. He couldn't hold back anymore. "Shizuo, I can't wait,. stop with the foreplay," he gasped out, rubbing his bulging crotch against the larger males thigh. Shizuo gasped and flushed a shade of red. "I can't either Flea," he muttered, and they undressed completely.  
Izaya flushed a deep shade of red at seeing the male and himself naked together. Shizuo reached over to the drawer to pull out a bottle of lube that he had found earlier while looking for his phone. "This might hurt," he muttered softly, spreading the lube on his fingers. He lifted the male's legs over his shoulders and positioned his fingers at his hole. Slowly he pushed one finger to stop with Izaya's pained gasps.  
"I-It hurts," he gasped out, trying to relax for him. "Just relax," Shizuo muttered calmly and rubbed his hip comfortingly. Slowly the raven relaxed and he began to move the finger in and out. He then slid in another slick finger, earning a pained gasp from Izaya. He nodded for the male to move when he relaxed.  
Izaya gasped as he was pushed into deeply, his body swirling in a pool of pleasure and pain. He wanted more, he wanted to beg him for more. Shizuo kept stretching him and slowly pushed a third finger in to hear the male whimper, not in pain, but in lust. "Shizuo, ha...hurry up…." he gasped out and Shizuo just smirked. He began to thrust his fingers in and stretch them inside of him deeply.  
Izaya gasped at his rough movements but loved the pleasure and pain he was given. Shizuo felt precum drip off his member and watched the percum slid down Izaya's own memebr. His heart pounded with love and lust, he needed him now. "I can't wait any longer," he gasped out and pulled his fingers free. He positioned himself and slowly pushed in with a groan.  
"Y-You're so tight and hot Izaya…" he muttered between a soft moan of pleasure. Izaya was gasping and grasped the sheets tightly in both pain and pleasure. Tears rolled down his cheeks and Shizuo leaned down. He licked them up gently and missed his eyes. "Relax," he whispered, showering him with kisses to calm him down.  
Izaya slowly relaxed in his arms and nodded, "It's okay to move." Shizuo smirked gently and began to thrust in and out slowly. Izaya began to gasp and moan softly at the movements. "M-More," he gasped out, reaching a hand up to wrap it in the males thick hair. Shizuo nodded and began to thrust quickly and a bit more roughly.  
The moans echoed off the walls, the room smelled distinctly of sex and sweat. Their bodies moving together in a mass of sweat and pleasure. "Shizuo, more," he gasped out as he got rougher. He tugged on his hair, earning a sweet moan from that action from Shizuo. Shizuo began to get rougher, unable to control some of his lust.  
Izaya couldn't hold on much longer. "I-I'm close, I'm gonna-" he gasped loudly as his prostate was hit sweetly. He cried out in pleasure, tightening around Shizuo and came. Shizuo moaned roughly at the tightness and kept thrusting roughly for a few seconds. He then pushed deep inside of him and came with a load moan. "Izaya, Izaya, I love you," he gasped out and leaned down to kiss him sloppily but gently.  
Izaya felt ecstatic when Shizuo came deep inside him, filling him. He weakened in his arms, letting his body rest on the bed. The blond slowly pulled out with a soft moan and collapsed next to the raven. He wrapped his arms around his body that was sticky with cum and pulled him into his chest. He wrapped around him gently and kissed his chest.

"I love you."


	5. Chapter 5

**_Sorry I took so long to write this story again. Due to my friend who keeps bugging me about this I'm writing this again. This might or might not be the longest chapter yet, I RP a lot and no one has replied in and while and I need to type some to not be so bored. I hope you can deal with how long this might me. Thank you._**

_**WARNING: This chapter will have self-harm and triggering scenes. Please read at your own discretion.  
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'He loves me?' Izaya thought again as he slowly slipped into a light sleep. His hands slid up and curled into his blonde locks of hair as he dozed off. He felt his nightmares scratching at him, wanting to ruin his peaceful sleep, and they did. The nightmares were bad, like always. Though they were considerably worse now due to Shizuo being so close and easy to leave his side. His nightmares were of Shizuo leaving and of himself falling into despair, something that hadn't happened in a while.

His nightmare was nothing easy to deal with especially now since his father was in it. His father, well, parents, were never good to him. His mother had left a long time ago and his father always beat him bloody when he was a child, that's why when sometimes when Shizuo throws a punch he flinches, thinking that he wouldn't pull back like he usually did because he was running. Izaya shot up in bed and looked at Shizuo, who was snoring soundly, sleeping like a log. His arms itched, he needed to do it...

'I'm sorry,' he thought and easily slipped from the bed and grabbed a small brown box from the bed side dresser. He pulled out a razor from there and put the box back. Quietly and carefully he walked to the bathroom, razor in his right hand tightly. Gently he closed the bathroom door and sat down, pulling the bandages off his wrists carefully. He found a healed up spot and placed the razor there. Slowly he pushed it down, sliding it along his skin. It made his body shiver as pain slid up his arm. IT was so good yet so bad at the same time. His mind blanked out easily as he continued.

The cuts slowly got deeper and tears slipped down his cheeks as he continued. Blood welled up and dripped off his arm onto the tiled floor with soft dripping sounds, splattering in some places and some on his leg. He had somehow puled on some boxers in his hurry to get to the bathroom so those had a bit of blood on them too. His razor kept sliding along his skin, not knowing that Shizuo had most likely awoken to the smell of blood. His shoulders shook as he continued until his arm was covered in marks like before, them still bleeding.

Shizuo got up in a hurry when he awoke and noticed Izaya wasn't there and there was a smell of blood. "Izaya..." he whispered and went to the bathroom where the smell of blood was from. He pushed the door open and his heart broke at the sight. "Izaya," he said and Izaya flinched at his voice, dropping the razor from his shaking hand. He kneeled down and grabbed a towel, wiping up the blood then wrapping a clean one around his bleeding wrist. He hugged the other close as he began to sob louder. "Izaya..." he whispered, obviously upset.

Izaya just shook his head, crying into his shoulder. "I-I'm sorry, I can't stop my self..." he whispered, his shoulders shaking with his ragged breaths and sobs. Shizuo just shook his head and kissed Izaya's forehead. Gently he patted the wrist clean and got out the first aid kit. He put more ointment on it and wrapped it up. "I know it'll be hard to stop, but you have to try..." he whispered and hugged the other closely and picked him up.

It was obvious Izaya wasn't eating properly due to how light and skinny he seemed. "Let's go get you something to eat," Shizuo said and carried him downstairs to the kitchen. Gently he sat him on the counter and got out some stuff to make an omelette. Izaya stayed quiet, playing with his fingers so he didn't scratch his arm. Quietly Shizuo made two omelettes and put them on two plates and onto the table. He picked Izaya up and put him into a chair in front of an omelette. "Eat, or I'll force you to eat," he said lightly and Izaya just slowly nodded.

Izaya picked at it for a moment then took a bite. His stomach was growling, he was really hungry. Though he hadn't eaten a lot in the past few days, hating the feeling of fullness after eating. That made him feel big and fat, he hated it. He chewed a few pieces as Shizuo easily finished his own omelette and watched Izaya eat. "You have to eat more than three bites Izaya, please, if you don't eat you could starve," he said lightly and Izaya just slowly nodded, tears forming in his eyes.

"I-I hate eating... It make me feel so fat... Gross... and ugly... How could you like someone as ugly and stupid as me Shizuo?!" he said, sobbing quietly, his hand shaking, making him drop the fork. Shizuo softly shook his head and sat next to him now, rubbing his back lightly as he picked up his fork. He hugged him gently and kissed his cheek. "You're not fat, ugly, or gross. You're perfect the way you are. You're too light. If you don't eat soon you could die, please, Izaya," he whispered, hugging him close and rubbing his cheek lightly.

Izaya couldn't keep hold on the fork due to his shaking hands, so Shizuo took it and picked up a small bite for him holding it up for him to eat. Slowly he ate it, the process continued for a few minutes until a little over half of the plate was finished. "I-I'm full..." Izaya whispered lightly, taking one last bite into his mouth and swallowing it after chewing. "Okay, we'll have you eat later too, let's go watch some TV for now, that'll be fun," he said, smiling softly at him. He put the omelette away and picked Izaya up, carrying him to the couch.

He sat down with the other in his arms and on his lap. He turned the TV on and held Izaya tightly yet gently. Izaya began scratching ate the bandages without knowing it, making them bleed. "Izaya," Shizuo said worriedly, taking his hands and holding them so he couldn't do that. "You can't do that, if you do that they won't heal properly," he remarked, kissing his lips. "H-How can you love me like this Shizu-chan?" he asked lightly and Shizuo sighed. "Because even if you hated me or were any different I'd still love you," he remarked lightly, smiling at him softly.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_  
_***A little later***_

Izaya sat on the couch silently, waiting for Shizuo to finish with his shower. He tried to not scratch at his wrists and stared at the wall quietly.

_Hey, worthless._

Izaya spun his head around and looked around, wondering where that voice came from.

_I'm talking to you raven, listen, you should stop being an idiot. Who would love you? Shizuo? Ha! No way, now stop listening to him and start cutting like the worthless pig you are. Haha! You idiot, thinking he could love you back after so long? He's just pitying you, now get over yourself, stop doing idiotic things and listen to me. Cut yourself, you should die like the scum you are, the wold never needed you in the first place._

Izaya flinched at the words and began crying. He covered his ears and shook his head. "Shut up! Get out of my head!" He yelled, the voice chuckling deeply inside of him.

_No, you shut up, you should've died that day! Die! Scum! Fag! Waste of space! Fatty!_

Izaya began sobbing and shook his head. "No! You're wrong! Shut up! Leave me alone!" he yelled as Shizuo came out of his shower, dressed in sweats and a tank top. He looked at Izaya worried as his body shook violently. "Izaya?" he called out worriedly, going over to him. It was obvious he didn't notice the other being there.

_Die! Idiot! Worthless idiot! No one loves you! Your parents even hated your guts! Go back to cutting you fag! You should've died!_

"Shut up! Leave me alone! Get out of my head!" he yelled, shaking uncontrollably, shaking his head, wanting the voice to go away. "Izaya!" Shizuo said, placing a hand on his wrist. Izaya flinched and slapped the hand away, his eyes wide and afraid. Tears streamed down his face and he sobbed, the voice backing away. He covered his face and curled up, sobbing loudly. "Izaya..." he whispered, hugging the other close. He kissed his head and rubbed his back, trying to soothe him.

"T-This voice... It's so mean... It w-won't leave me alone... It keep t-telling me to k-kill myself..." he sobbed out, hugging the other back tightly. "I l-love you Shizuo...P-Please don't leave me..." he sobbed out and Shizuo held him tightly. "I'd never let you go, I love you too. Everything will be alright now..." he whispered, trying to soothe him. He kept sobbing for a while until they died down and he passed out from being so tired from crying.

**_A/N:_**  
_**Well, that's the best I could do for now, my wrist is starting to hurt. Plus, I think I won't be able to stop thinking about classical music since I literally listened to it blasting as i wrote this. I hope you like this, please rate, favorite, and follow. Thanks~ Chapter 6 might be up soon, I don't know yet.**_


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